The Scorpion And The Frog

The Scorpion and the Frog: A Story of Human Nature

There is an old fable that tells a powerful truth about people and their nature. In The Scorpion and the Frog, a scorpion asks a frog to carry him across the river. At first, the frog hesitates. He knows what the scorpion is capable of, and he doesn’t want to be stung. But the scorpion argues, “If I sting you, we’ll both drown.” The frog thought about it for a minute and felt that the scorpion’s plea sounded reasonable enough, so he agrees to take the him across the river. Midway through the crossing, the frog feels a breathtakingly, painful and sudden sting right in the middle of his back, the likes of which he has ever felt, .

As the poison takes effect and they begin to sink, the frog, in disbelief, looks up at the scorpion asks, “Why did you sting me? Now we’ll both die.” The scorpion’s reply is as cold as it is simple: “I can’t help myself. It’s in my nature.”

Human Nature

This story speaks to something I believe deeply about people: at their core, their nature doesn’t really change. Sure, people can grow, learn, and adjust their behavior over time, but who they are fundamentally—their basic character—stays the same. Not unlike the scorpion; no matter what logic or reasoning might be presented, its instinct, its true nature, will always guide its actions. For better or worse, most people are also like that. People are hardwired to behave the way they do. Their ways are deeply ingrained.

I’ve lived long enough to see this in action my whole life, and I’ve given this a lot of thought. Over the years, I’ve changed in some ways, particularly in how I interact with people, in how I respond and react to them. But who I am deep down, has stayed the same. My core personality, the essence of who I’ve always been, has followed me through life. I think it’s the same for most of us.

We go through life’s experiences, we get knocked around, maybe even chipped away at, but the core of who we are doesn’t change a hell of a lot. I believe who we are is something that we carry with us across all our lifetimes. In this current human experience I am having I am Tony Jarrah, but who knows what roles I have played in past lives? A peasant? A soldier? A healer? A teacher perhaps? My life experiences might be different from lifetime to lifetime, but I suspect my core being has always been somewhat the same across all those lives, regardless of time and space.

To Trust or Not to Trust

I think people like me, the ones who are naturally trusting, generous, and perhaps a bit soft and gullible, often struggle the most with understanding this concept of trusting and understanding people’s individual nature. I used to give away my time and trust quickly and easily. By “used to” I mean as recently as a couple of years ago. It is still in my nature to do so, even after all the proverbial slaps to my face. I always assumed that others had the same depth and intentions that I did. I’ve learned the hard way that this isn’t the case. People often take advantage of those who are open and giving, and I’ve seen it happen again and again—not just to me, but also to others.

The scorpion and the frog are such a clear example of this. The scorpion can’t help but sting, even though it knows it will die as a result. The frog, in its kindness and willingness to help, suffers for trusting blindly. This fable has stayed with me since I first came across it back in 1995. I was 30 then, going through a lot of changes and healing, and it hit me hard. I realized that I’d been like the frog too many times in my life.

It was during that time that I was becoming more aware of my own flaws, my temper, and my inability to navigate relationships without getting used, hurt, or angry. To tell you the truth, I think I still haven’t figured that out yet. Back then I was trying to work on those parts of myself, but understanding the nature of other people made that process even more necessary. I couldn’t control the scorpions of the world, but I could work on how I responded to them.

Are We Even Compatible?

Now, at 60, I keep to myself a lot more. I rarely interact with people. Today, I don’t need the company of others the way I used to in my youth. I am just happy just enjoying my quiet life, going on drives down coast or up to the mountains, taking photos, finding a nice cafe somewhere, smelling the roses.

The reason I am like this now is because I’ve found that people, for the most part, aren’t good for me. Or I should say, I am not compatible with most people. I’m a very particular kind of person, and I’ve learned that I don’t fit with most people. I exist at a deeper level than most are willing to go. Sure, people can be charming on the surface, but when it comes to truly connecting, I find so many people to be shallow, selfish, and indifferent. It’s not that I think I’m better than everyone else—I just think I’m different. And in that difference, I’ve realized I don’t need to be around people who cannot meet me where I am. At some point I came to realize that I am like the ugly duckling, except I’d like to think that I’m not ugly, but you get the drift 😉

Are We Wrong, Or Broken?

I’ve spent my whole life observing people, and myself. I felt that I couldn’t fit in, no matter how hard I tried. And I really tried.

My youth and innocence erroneously told me that I didn’t fit in because there was something wrong with me. Boy was I wrong! For many decades I thought like this. Certainly all of my childhood and into my 50s. To me it was painfully obvious. At some point during my 50s I came to realize that there was nothing wrong with me, even if the whole world thinks that of me. I realized that I am just different. I have a different way of looking at things, at people, at life. Is my way better, worse, wrong, inaccurate? I don’t think so.

I know now that people don’t really change. Not at their core. They might modify their behaviors slightly as they age, maybe even mature a little, but their basic nature stays the same, just like the scorpion. Some people are just wired to take advantage of others, like the scorpion in the fable. They’ll always find someone soft and gentle to manipulate, to feed off of. The soft and gullible ones, like me, often get hurt in the process, unless they learn to see it coming. They think that everyone is nice. Often they can’t fathom that some people only have nefarious intentions.

Are We Even Still Trusting The Scorpions Of This World?

This is why I share the scorpion and frog story with people who are like me—those who are soft, who give too much without thinking of the cost. I tell them this story so they can understand that not everyone is worthy of their trust, their time, their energy, or their friendship. Trust should be earned, not freely given by default. People like us tend to give our trust away too easily, and we’re the ones who end up hurt because of it. This story is a wake-up call for anyone who finds themselves being too trusting. It’s a reminder that some people, no matter what they say or promise, will sting you. Every time. Not because they want to hurt you necessarily, but because it’s just who they are. It is in their nature, like it was in the scorpion’s nature to sting the frog.

Some people get this story right away. It clicks for them, and they realize they’ve been playing the part of the frog far too often. For others, though, it goes right over their heads. They can’t believe that people can be so negative or destructive. Maybe these people haven’t been stung badly enough yet. But for those of us who have been through it, the lesson is clear: people’s nature is what it is. You can’t change them, and you shouldn’t try. All you can do is be aware and protect yourself from getting hurt or used again.

So if you’ve ever found yourself being taken advantage of, being too trusting, or getting hurt because you assumed others had the same good intentions you did, take a moment to reflect on this fable. It might save you from being stung in the future.

---

You can heal your life.  You have nothing to lose, and remember,

Thoughts Have Power.

---

All rights reserved.  © 2024 Tony Jarrah